By Shay Formanek, Divorce and Family Law Attorney

As Halloween approaches, we find ourselves surrounded by frightening tales of ghosts, goblins and … divorce myths? Yes, even in the realm of family law, certain misconceptions can seem downright scary. But don’t worry: I’m here to take the fear out of three popular myths that might be haunting you.

Myth #1: Divorce Means You Lose All Marital Assets

It’s a common fear that divorce will leave you with nothing, but that’s far from the truth. In Illinois, the law mandates that marital property is divided equitably—which means fairly, not necessarily equally. While the idea of losing everything is terrifying, the reality is that both spouses will receive a share of the marital assets. It’s not always a simple calculation, but courts recognize both each party’s contributions, whether those be in a workplace or at home.

It’s important to note that the real horror comes when a person fights tooth and nail for an objectively unreasonable outcome, potentially leading to skyrocketing attorney fees and drained resources. Addressing financial matters realistically from the start can help avoid unnecessary scares down the line.

While dividing assets may feel like an uphill battle, rest assured you won’t be left empty-handed.

Myth #2: Prenuptial Agreements Are Only for the Wealthy

The idea that prenuptial agreements (prenups) are just for the rich or famous is simply false. Prenups can actually benefit most couples, and I’m seeing more and more couples of all ages and net worth consider them. In Illinois, a prenup can protect premarital assets—such as an inheritance—prevent future disputes over spousal support, and simplify the divorce process if it becomes necessary.

Think of a prenup like insurance—you hope you don’t need it, but it’s there to protect you in case the unexpected happens. The best time to resolve the financial aspects of a potential divorce is when you’re in a good place and can think logically, rather than during the emotional time of a divorce, and this is accomplished through a prenup.

Bottom line: Don’t let the misconceptions or fear of prenups trick you into missing out on valuable protection.

Myth #3: Moms Always Get Full Parental Allocation

One of the most persistent divorce myths is the belief that mothers automatically receive full parental allocation (formerly known as “custody”). While this may have been more common in the past, times have changed. Courts now focus on what’s in the best interest of the child, which means that both parents have an equal opportunity to share in allocation arrangements. While courts consider many factors, such as who has been the main caregiver, work schedules and other practical considerations, in determining the child’s best interests, each parent’s gender is not one of them. The notion that moms will always win is as outdated as the idea that black cats bring bad luck.

Facing Your Divorce Fears

Divorce and family law myths can be scary, but once you shine a light on them, they lose their power. By understanding the truth behind these common misconceptions, you can approach each matter with clarity and confidence.

If you have any questions or need help navigating your divorce, please reach out today. I welcome the chance to meet with you at our new office at the Davis Center in Evanston, or at our offices in Chicago, Lake Forest or Oak Brook.

Schedule time with Shay